Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
