Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
