fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
