if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
