On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
