I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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