LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
