The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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