New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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