I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
