She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
