I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
