I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize