if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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