My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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