Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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