Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
