real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
