"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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