I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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