I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
