She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
