My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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