Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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