I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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