I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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