I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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