i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
