His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize