Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
