Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize