Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
