hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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