put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
