is wine microwaveable?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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