i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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