Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize