I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
North Korea, Best Korea!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
