This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
