But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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