well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
