Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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