you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
