Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize