When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
