he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
