It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
