Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
