i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
