his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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