If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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