I will die if light touches me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
