I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
