I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
