maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
