Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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