it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
