I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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