oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
