I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish i was in the wii world.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
